I like to think I'm pretty easygoing. I can usually roll with the punches, spur of the moment is fine with me, I'm up for whatever. But I am a hardcore stresser. Always have been. I don't know why. It's annoying. It's pointless. It's a waste of time. But I can stress out with the best of them. It's something I need to work on. I have recently discovered that wedding planning brings out the stress like nothing else I have ever experienced. I was reading a wedding blog the other day (yeah, I do things like THAT now) and the writer mentioned "the fresh hell that is wedding planning". Right on, dear blogger.
I'm almost positive that I've heard people say they enjoyed planning their wedding. They thought it was fun, not stressful, loved every second of picking out every detail. I know I've heard this before... And now I know those people were LYING! Wedding planning=high stress, not fun, hard... I don't love it. But what I do love is that when I'm done with all this planning, I'll get to have an awesome party with all the people I care about, get to wear the most fantastic dress I've ever put on, and most importantly... I'll get to be married to the one dude that makes me smile, love, feel more than anyone else in the world. And for that, all the stress will be worth it.
We finally have a date and a place and that has made life this week much easier than it has been in the weeks past. It took multiple breakdowns, tears, phone calls, and hours to nail something down, but we finally did. And it's amazing how much relief I feel having that done. One thing that has made me realize is that I need to breathe. It's all going to work out in the end (haven't people been telling me that all along and I forgot to listen?) and I just need to relax and take it one detail at a time. Having the date/location stress off my shoulders has given me time to focus a little more on what's really important for the wedding. And what's really important is spending it with Jeremy.
Don't get me wrong. I'm excited to have all of our family and friends there. I so look forward to spending that day with the amazing people in our lives. But more importantly, I want our wedding to be about us. I want it to be the happiest day of our lives. I want Jeremy to feel different than he ever has when I walk down the aisle, because I already know I'll have to choke back some tears.
I so look forward to spending the rest of my life with Jeremy. I came to the hard realization that he is a much better fiance to me than I am to him. Through all my crying and flipping out, he has been incredibly patient and understanding and put up with more than anyone should ever have to. But I hope that we can be equally awesome husband/wife to each other.
I can't wait. Really. And not just because when the wedding finally gets here it will mean all the planning is done. Although I'm ready for that part too. I can't wait for the marriage. The rest of our lives. Together. That's the thing I look forward to the most. And that's what will make everything worth it. Seriously, can't wait.