Seattle

I'm so overwhelmed with all of the things that I need to write about that I can't even figure out where to start. So I'll skip over everything for now and focus on what I'm feeling today.

It's so easy to feel alone in a new city. I see groups of people on the street, I hear voices and music and laughter through the open window from across the way, I pass people running in twos and threes while I pound the pavement by myself. I hear the stories of my friends back home on weekend getaways together, going to concerts and movies and dinners, wasting a day at the pool together. Lonely is a strange feeling. One that I have luckily not had to experience much of in my lifetime, but one that I now get the opportunity to overcome.

But it's not all lonely. I'm so lucky to have my best friend here. We get to tour the city together, find places to eat, see the sights, cuddle on a rainy day. It's fun to start a whole new life together. New city, new jobs, new experience. We're in uncharted territory, and I so look forward to mapping it out together. Jeremy makes me laugh every day. The transistion is easier when I'm doing it with my best friend.

I have a friend here. I thought Mauri was a sweetheart when I met her last summer, and now I know she is one of the best people this world has to offer. She beat me to Seattle by three months and has spent the last couple weeks showing me around. She has saved my sanity and kept my spirits up. She has the most positive attitude and makes it impossible to get sucked into the pity party I would surely throw myself if she wasn't around.

At a time when it would be so easy to feel lost and alone, I have been comforted and reassured by God's love and awareness for me. There are signs everywhere that He has not forgotten about me and that I am in the right place at the right time. A missionary in the ward that was a patient of mine in the past, the surprise discovery of a high school teammate living a block away. It's easy to get discouraged, but easier to recognize the signs of encouragement from someone bigger than me.

It's a strange feeling not having a job. I don't know what to do with all the free time and end up wasting most of it. I hope a find a job quickly because I feel all out of sorts without one. I miss Primary's every day. I find myself constantly thinking about the patients there and hate not knowing how they are doing. I miss my coworkers. I miss the kids and their families.

The plus side of being jobless is that I've had time to run again. It's so different to run in a new city, unfamiliar with the streets and the landmarks. Getting lost and finding my way again. Going just far enough that I can't turn around, I just have to make the full loop. Finding myself on scary trails, but coming out on the other side to the most beautiful views. Symbolic of this move to Seattle I guess.

I'm figuring out the city. I've found my favorite grocery stores, my favorite dock to sit on in the afternoon, my favorite spray-painted message on a freeway overpass. It's a little easier to determine which way is North or West. I've picked up some of the lingo. I can't bring myself to stop wearing makeup or doing my hair yet.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss work. I miss air conditioning. But the water here is beautiful. Everything is so green. I hiked through the forest and came out on a beach. I saw a turtle on the trail. It stays light until 10 o'clock in the summer. I live a mile from downtown.

I like Seattle. Before long I will love it. And while Utah will always be where the heart is, Seattle will be home. At least for now.